“It feels hopeless, nobody understands me!”
These may be your thoughts as once again you find your relationship in ashes.
Everything seemed great at first. In fact, it even occurred to you that this person may be the person with whom you would spend the rest of your life.
However, your partner just got tired of having to “deal” with your ADHD.
Even though they loved your passion, energy, and excitement, in the end, the effects of ADHD have caused harm to your relationships.
Does this sound like you?
If so, it’s important that you understand the effects of ADHD on your relationships so you can avoid potential issues in the future.
1. Misunderstanding Can Lead to Friction
No matter what you do, you always feel misunderstood. What seems to make perfect sense to you is the exact opposite for everybody else.
For example, you may constantly hear that your lazy and lack focus and drive. Yet, you know that you have so much energy for the things you love to do! Why can’t they understand that?
It’s because of the effects of ADHD on your motivation. You super motivated to do things you’re interested in while lacking motivation when it’s something another person may find interesting.
2. Sensitivity to Criticism Can Lead to Feeling Rejected
Another one of the effects of ADHD is that it makes you very sensitive to criticism. Any form of negative feedback is very painful to you.
You try to avoid it at all costs in other areas of your life, such as work. However, when your partner criticizes you, it’s like a knife to your heart. It hurts so much, even if the criticism is deserved.
But you’re not thinking of that. You are instead focused on the fear of rejection from someone you care about.
3. Irresponsibility Can Lead to Creating a Gap
Relationships should be based on equality. However, ADHD can harm your relationship with your partner when they feel they always have to be the grow-up and take on all the responsibility.
For them, this means having to take care of all of the “boring” things that need to be done, whether it’s planning out a date to balancing the checkbook. It’s no fun for them and can drive them further away.
4. Lack of Focus Can Lead to Lack of Support
Your partner is a person, too, and has needs just like everybody else. Sometimes, after a long day at work, they just want to talk about what happened to them. That isn’t too much to ask.
However, due to your ADHD, it’s often hard for you to stay focused for a long time. Or, maybe, you don’t even realize at all that they want you to listen. You are so focused on other things that it doesn’t occur to you that they want your support.
5. Disorganization Can Lead to Frustration
Remember where you left that electrical bill that needs to be paid? Another one of the effects of ADHD is that you are disorganized.
This wasn’t necessarily a big deal when you were on your own. If you lost something, it was just on you. But when you’re in a relationship, that lack of organization can cause real harm.
If you can’t remember where you put important things (like keys or papers), your partner may get pretty frustrated with you, especially if it happens over and over. Or your disorganization may cause you to forget appointments or dates that are meaningful. It’s not that you don’t care, you just can’t remember!
6. Getting Down on Yourself Can Lead to Depression
ADHD is something that doesn’t go away, and that fact may make you feel down about yourself. From time to time, you may have even slipped into a depression. However, your partner doesn’t understand why you are depressed.
And this only exacerbates the harm caused to your relationship. Not only do you have to deal with the effects of ADHD and depression, but you once again feel like nobody understands you—perhaps not even yourself!
—
Your history of relationships shows that the effects of ADHD have caused a lot of hurt feelings, pain, and harm. Of course, you don’t mean for that to happen, but it does anyway.
If you have ADHD but are not currently getting treatment, I invite you to contact me or learn more about my methods for ADHD counseling. It may be hard asking for help, but treatment can allow you to have better and more meaningful relationships.
Reach your potential with ADHD, read more.