Therapy for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse San Francisco

Many high-achieving men in the Bay Area live with the lasting effects of sexual abuse or sexual assault while appearing successful on the outside.

Michael G. Quirke, M.A.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

You may have pushed the experiences down for years—or decades—because of stigma, shame, or the belief that “real men” don’t talk about these things. Yet the impact often shows up as anxiety, depression, anger, relationship difficulties, intimacy struggles, or a constant sense that something is off. Seeking therapy for male survivors of sexual abuse San Francisco can be a vital step towards your healing.

You are not alone, and you do not have to keep managing this by yourself.

I am Michael G. Quirke, M.A., LMFT. For more than 25 years I have helped high-functioning adults in San Francisco, Palo Alto, and throughout California recover from trauma, Complex PTSD, and related challenges using an integrative approach that combines deep trauma processing with nervous-system regulation. My work is particularly suited to men who have tried traditional talk therapy without lasting results.

The Reality for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Research consistently shows that approximately 1 in 6 men experience sexual abuse before age 18, and many more experience unwanted sexual events in adulthood. Most male survivors delay seeking help for 10–25 years or longer. Societal messages about masculinity, fear of not being believed, confusion around physiological responses during the abuse, and profound shame keep many men silent.

When men do seek help, they often present with secondary issues: high-functioning anxiety or depression, anger, ADHD-like symptoms, relationship or sexual difficulties, or a sense of emotional numbness and disconnection. The original trauma may not even be the first thing mentioned.

How Sexual Trauma Commonly Affects High-Achieving Men Seeking Therapy

In my practice I frequently see men who are successful in their careers yet struggle privately with:

Persistent shame, self-blame, or a sense of being “damaged”
Difficulty with emotional or physical intimacy
Hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, or sudden shutdowns
Challenges with trust and vulnerability in relationships
Anger, irritability, or feeling constantly on edge
Anxiety, depression, or sleep problems that do not fully respond to standard approaches
A gap between how life looks on the outside and how it feels on the inside

These experiences are understandable responses to trauma. They are not character flaws.

How Therapy For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Helps: An Integrative, Evidence-Based Approach

Effective recovery for male survivors requires more than insight alone. It requires addressing both the traumatic memories and the nervous-system dysregulation that keeps the past alive in the present.

My approach integrates four powerful modalities that work especially well together for this population:

EMDR Therapy – Helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories so they lose their emotional intensity. Many men appreciate that EMDR does not require extensive verbal retelling of every detail.
Neurofeedback – Trains the brain toward greater regulation, improving focus, emotional stability, sleep, and resilience. It is particularly helpful when trauma has left the nervous system stuck in overdrive or shutdown.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Works with the protective “parts” that carry shame, anger, or fear, while connecting to the calm, capable Self that is already present.
Somatic / Sensorimotor Psychotherapy – Addresses how trauma is held in the body, restoring a sense of safety and agency that pure cognitive approaches often miss.

This combination is designed for high-functioning adults who want lasting change rather than temporary symptom management. We work at a pace that respects your need for control and safety.

What to Expect from Therapy for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse in San Francisco

Therapy begins with a thorough 90-minute intake so we can understand your history, current challenges, and goals. We prioritize stabilization and nervous-system regulation before deeper trauma processing. You set the pace. Many men find relief in discovering that effective trauma work does not require losing control or endlessly talking about the worst moments.

Sessions are available in person at my San Francisco office (582 Market Street, Financial District) or Palo Alto office (825 San Antonio Road), or securely online for California residents. I typically meet with clients weekly.

Is This a Good Fit?

My practice is best suited for men who are ready to do real work—those who are tired of willpower alone and want practical, evidence-based tools that produce lasting results. If you value direct yet compassionate guidance and are prepared to engage consistently, we may be a strong match.

Next Steps

If you are ready to explore whether this approach is right for you:

Review the rest of this website, especially the pages on EMDR, Neurofeedback, IFS, and trauma treatment.
Schedule a 90-minute intake through my online scheduler, or request a brief structured 15-minute phone consultation if you have one specific question about fit.

You have already shown courage by reading this far. Healing is possible. The calmer, more connected version of yourself is still available.

Contact:

Michael G. Quirke, M.A., LMFT

San Francisco & Palo Alto | Online throughout California