Trauma

A lot of psychology-related terms have worked their way into everyday usage lately. One common example is “trauma.” Of course, there are some true benefits to this growing awareness. But, in addition, it’s easy to have misinterpretations. From movies or even social media posts, many people have a very skewed perception of what “trauma” means. This misunderstanding can inadvertently invalidate many trauma sufferers. We expect a trauma survivor to have endured a particular kind of event. In reality, trauma is in the eye of the beholder and it can occur slowly over time. This is precisely how Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [...]

How often have you had an interaction turn into trauma or drama? And how often were you unable to figure out that just happened? You may find yourself confused; wondering if you instigated something. Or if you've been taken advantage of? Perhaps you were just trying to calm someone else down and save them from potential conflict. Relationships (of any kind) are quite complicated. Life could be a whole lot more pleasant and stress-free if only you could avoid all the unnecessary drama. If only there was a method for understanding interactions and enhancing your interpersonal skills. Guess what? Such a [...]

In times of stress or danger, our body is hard-wired to respond. The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight action response. There is another response — courtesy of the parasympathetic nervous system — known as freeze-or-faint. These responses are related to branches of the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body. It connects your brain to organs like the intestines, stomach, lungs, and heart. In layman’s terms, the vagus nerve is what makes the mind-body connection possible. Have you ever had "butterflies" in your stomach? Or a stomach in knots? The vagus nerve is why we [...]

The existence of PTSD is more widely known than ever. Post-traumatic stress disorder has entered popular knowledge perhaps mostly due to its connection to soldiers returning from war zones. Even so, many folks now understand what creates trauma and how it impacts people of all ages. This is important because it helps us better identify when a problem may be present. There may be a downside to this new awareness. PTSD does not present in one obvious way. For example, there’s a related condition that demands equal attention. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) is a severe disorder arising from a different [...]

When it comes to narcissism, there is a spectrum of severity. While many people have narcissistic traits, some people have personalities that are highly narcissistic. Others have full blown narcissistic personality disorder. It’s well known that narcissistic exposure can damage an adult badly enough. But the traumatizing effects of being raised by a narcissist leaves psychic scars which drive many into therapy later in life. These scars can be thought of as common traits of children with narcissistic parents Every parent-child relationship involves some amount of occasional conflict, stress and confusion. This is not exactly breaking news and has been the [...]

Being raised by a narcissistic parent disturbs even the most naturally resilient child. If your parent is at the severe end of the narcissistic spectrum, then your life is one long unpredictable experience over which you have little control. The self absorption of the narcissistic parent can leave you with long-term emotional issues. Your parent’s mood swings, emotional neglect and violent outbursts have likely left an indelible mark on your nervous system, making it difficult for you to regulate your own emotions. The cruelty and abuse of the narcissistic parent are nothing short of traumatic. Being exposed to endless self centered [...]

Thinking about trauma, reliving it, and avoiding it can be a consuming pastime. To keep ourselves from experiencing such distress, we often go out of our way to escape the internal upheaval, triggers, or perceived danger connected to the past. Some of us tense for a fight. Others take flight and make a quick getaway. Others shut down completely in freeze mode. And some people, go another way to feel safer and more in control. We call this trauma response emotional appeasement or "fawning." Essentially, fawning is a means of soothing the anxiety and emotional pain with a façade of harmonious [...]

Author and psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky defines happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile” in her book The How of Happiness. According to Mayo Clinic, people with narcissistic personality disorder in which people "have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism." Considering these definitions, it's difficult to see how a person looking [...]

It's important to be careful with the term narcissist these days, it's true. People casually bandy about the word, without an accurate sense of what it means. It's widely used as some sort of a vague put down, and many people just use it as a way to smear someone who didn't give them what they want. But don't be so careful that you miss the signs that your partner is actually subjecting you to narcissistic abuse. It's easy to be lulled into complacency and confusion by a true narcissist's manipulation.  But life with a severe narcissist can do a number [...]

Leaving a romantic relationship behind is often hard enough. When that relationship was plagued with narcissistic abuse, moving on is much harder. You may not long to be with your former partner but the trauma of the relationship can hold you back and wear you down internally. Living a life separate from your abuser may seem impossible. So, with that said, you likely know that simply getting out of the relationship isn't the magic wand that heals your emotional and psychological trauma. Your current negativity, harsh self-perceptions, and shame regarding the relationship can feel insurmountable on your own. Frightening experiences with [...]