C-PTSD Grounding Exercise

Video · 16 minutes · C-PTSD · Practice

Summary

People with unresolved trauma often live inside a reactive nervous system: sleep problems, panic, OCD, depression, addictions, compulsions. Instant-relief habits help for a minute and then stall growth. A dysregulated brain cannot learn. This video explains that first, then walks a “drop anchor” exercise from ACT — notice, rate intensity, press into the floor, name what is here, look around the room. It is education, not a session. Check with your own clinician before you use it.

What this video covers

  • Why basic stabilization comes before insight work
  • The cycle of reactivity after years of a felt sense of danger
  • Habits that give instant relief and block learning
  • “The traumatized brain can’t learn” — fight, flight, freeze, submit
  • Why therapy and self-help go in circles without these skills
  • A guided dropping-anchor / distress-tolerance practice
  • How to check afterward whether you are less hooked

Key takeaways

  • You need the right amount of arousal for the task — taxes, tennis, a hard conversation, and therapy.
  • Animal defenses hijack the system. Until they settle, new learning does not stick.
  • Treat the exercise like a scientist: notice what happens. Do not force a calm state.
  • Distress can be here and the body that surrounds it can still move.
  • Stop if it spikes threat. This is not a substitute for trauma treatment.

Who this is for

  • Adults with C-PTSD or developmental trauma who feel tossed by emotion
  • People who have “done a lot of therapy” and still spin
  • Viewers who already have a clinician and want a sample of stabilization work

Who this is not for

  • Anyone in immediate danger — call 911 or 988
  • People who dissociate hard or become unsafe with body-focus — get a go-ahead first
  • A stand-in for assessment, EMDR, IFS, or addiction care

Before you try this: I am a therapist. I am not your therapist. Ask your mental health provider whether this exercise is appropriate for you.

Next step

Transcript

Many of the clients I work with need to develop what I call basic stabilization skills. They struggle with unresolved trauma symptoms, sleep problems, panic, OCD, depression, addictions, and compulsions.

What’s often happening is that they are being buffeted about by a dysregulated nervous system. They are caught in a cycle of reactivity — anxiety, anger, fear, shame, depression, defeat, or all of them. Their nervous system has been shaped, sculpted, and conditioned by living for years with a chronic felt sense of danger. In effect they are constantly triggered, and their lives and relationships reflect that.

In an effort to get relief they rely on habits that give instant relief but backfire over the long run and prevent their brains and nervous systems from learning and growing. These are the so-called bad habits we all know about.

From working with many clients in many settings over more than a quarter of a century, I know that in order to grow and change we humans need to master our nervous systems. A dysregulated nervous system cannot really learn, because it is constantly being hijacked by habits I call the animal defenses.

One of the most important mentors I’ve had used to repeat: “Remember, Michael, the traumatized brain can’t learn.” When we are overwhelmed by survival strategies — fight, flight, freeze, and submit — we stay developmentally stuck.

I think the number one reason people don’t get anywhere in therapy, or go in circles with self-help, is that they have never developed these fundamental skills. We need the right amount of arousal or physiological energy for the task at hand — balancing a checkbook, doing taxes, playing tennis, having an important conversation. That is true of all the activities of life, including therapy. Learning these skills can save a lot of wasted time, money, and effort.

I’m going to share an exercise I do with my clients. This is for educational and informational purposes only. I’m a therapist, but I’m not your therapist. Before doing any kind of self-help exercise, talk to your mental health care provider about the pros and cons of doing this exercise for you.

When you do this, engage as if you are a scientist doing an experiment. Pay attention. Study what happens.

This distress-tolerance exercise is sometimes called dropping anchor. It comes from ACT — acceptance and commitment therapy — though similar versions exist in many approaches.

Sometimes we feel like a boat tossed about by emotional waves, intense thought currents, and surges of physical energy. That’s where this exercise can come in handy.

Take a few moments and notice what you’re experiencing. Eyes open or closed — experiment with what’s best right now. Notice the thoughts. Notice what your mind is like: calm or racing, focus steady or jumpy. Notice feelings and emotions. You’re just taking stock.

Notice if there are upsetting or painful thoughts or images. Notice if you are calm, upset, or caught in an emotional storm right now.

Sense your body and mind, and ask yourself how intense the energy is in your body-mind system, between −10 and +10. −10 is as low as it can be. +10 is as high as it can be — very activated. Zero would be just about perfect. Ask yourself how you can tell. What signs tell you what your number is?

As you listen to my voice, keep following the instructions. First, I invite you to push your feet hard into the floor. Push them down. Feel the ground beneath you. Engage the muscles in your feet and legs. If you’re sitting, sit forward in your chair and straighten your back. Feel the chair beneath you. Notice your back supporting you. Adjust the pressure. Release it. Decrease it. Find what’s best.

Now slowly press your fingertips together. As you do that, move your elbows and your shoulders. Engage those muscles. Use your upper-body muscles. Press again. Play with the pressure. Feel your arms moving from your shoulder blades to your fingertips. Keep adjusting the pressure.

Take a moment and acknowledge whatever is going on inside you — whatever your mind is like, whatever your emotions are like, whatever you’re struggling with right now. Whatever thoughts, feelings, body reactions: you didn’t ask for them, but here they are. You can rest whenever you want.

If there’s something challenging, something you really want to go away and it isn’t going, acknowledge it and name the kind of distress. You might say: here’s frustration. Here’s worry. Here’s fear. Here’s an urge showing up in my body. Here’s a painful memory. There’s a jumpy mind. Whatever is happening, make note of it.

As you’re doing that, notice that as well as whatever distress or turmoil is here, there is a body that surrounds that distress — a body you can move and control. Straighten your back. Notice your whole body: hands, feet, arms, legs. Gently move them. Press against the floor again. Heighten your muscles. Stretch. Keep experimenting with pressing your feet into the floor, adjusting the pressure, seeing what feels best.

Look around the room. Look up and down. Look from side to side. Be present. Notice three or four things you can hear. One of them might be the sound of my voice. There might be a clock, sounds from another room or the neighborhood, a person or a pet nearby. Make note of it as you’re feeling your body, as you’re pressing.

Be aware that you and I are here together. I’m on video. We’re working as a team, and I’m here supporting you.

Notice that you can do two or three things at once. Let your attention widen. Notice what’s happening even if you’re struggling with something. At the same time, notice your body in the chair. Gently move. Stretch. Press your feet into the floor. Consciously press your hands together. Continue to notice that I’m here. We’re working as a team.

Then relax. Let go for a moment. Ask yourself: do you notice any difference now? Was that helpful or unhelpful? How can you tell? Are you less caught up in your mind, your emotions, your physical impulses — or not? Are you less hooked by difficult thoughts, feelings, sensations? Less swept away by whatever storm might have been happening? Do you feel more free or less free? More pushed around by inner reactivity, or less jerked around by feelings, urges, and impulses?

Notice if it’s easier to listen and be present. Easier to focus on what I’m saying. Tune into your sense of control. Do you feel more control over your actions — arms, legs, mouth? Sense it. If you wish, move your arms and legs. Stretch. Notice that you can actually control yourself.

If you wish, take another breath or two. Let go of this exercise.

I’m looking forward to any comments or experiences you wish to share. Please like, subscribe, and share if you found this useful. There are more articles and videos at michaelgquirke.com. Please feel welcome to have a look.

Disclaimer

Educational content only. Not therapy, not a diagnosis, not a crisis service. Do not use this exercise if it increases distress, dissociation, or unsafe urges. Psychotherapy is available to California residents in San Francisco, Palo Alto, and online. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or 988.