The difference between trauma and complex trauma relates to duration and quantity. Most people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have endured one traumatic event. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), however, arises from ongoing, repetitive events — often during childhood. They experienced unpleasant situations from which they saw no manner of escape.
Complex trauma can provoke some unhealthy coping choices. Someone with C-PTSD may dissociate. Others may attempt to rationalize the abuse via self-blame and bad luck. They believe they bring negative experiences upon themselves because they are victims. After what they’ve been through, complex trauma survivors expect to be singled out for more of the same. It’s just their fate as victims.
What Is a Victim Mentality?
We all have moments when we utter phrases like “It’s just my luck.” The implication, of course, is that things tend to go badly for us. Typically, this is temporary. In some cases, it may be a passive-aggressive attempt to gain sympathy. However, if this mindset is ever-present, you may be dealing with a victim mentality.
The hallmark of the victim mentality is surrendering your agency. Negative events happen because you lack any control over your life. When faced with life’s daily circumstances, you are helpless. It’s not difficult to see how this perspective can be an offshoot of complex trauma. Any of the following factors could be at play:
- You were in danger, and no one came to your rescue
- Someone you know and love betrayed you
- So many things happened to you at once that control seems like a fantasy
- The ensuing emotional distress you feel results in learned helplessness
People with C-PTSD were definitely victimized in a serious, long-term way. This reality can embed a victim mentality within them. After what they’ve been through, it genuinely looks to them that the world is out to get them.
Common Signs of a Victim Mentality
Emotional/Psychological
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Resenting others who appear to have an easy life
- A sense of shame for your lot in life
- Feeling like no one sees you, understands you, or validates you
- Stopping yourself from trying anything new or exciting
- Social withdrawal and isolation
- Low self-esteem
- Not taking good care of yourself
Cognitive/Behavioral
If you’re stuck in a cycle of C-PTSD and a victim mentality, you see the world as inherently unfair. You see your life in black-and-white terms and expect the worst to happen. It feels impossible to let go of past hurts — so much so that thoughts of self-harm are not uncommon. More red flags to watch for:
- Being critical not only of yourself but others in your life
- Self-sabotaging habits
- Hanging out with people who also see themselves as victims
- Putting so much blame on external factors that you don’t hold yourself accountable for anything
Relationships
Your lack of trust and subsequent dissociation can make it difficult to be emotionally available to anyone. You distrust the world, expect to be wronged, and hear constructive criticism as an attack.
How Do You Overcome a Victim Mentality?
Complex trauma survivors need and deserve support from a trauma-informed therapist. After all, it’s very hard to accept that you might have a victim mentality when you’ve been a legitimate victim for so long. Your lack of trust is, in many ways, justified. Feeling pessimistic seems like a logical choice. However, getting treatment for C-PTSD can help you move forward.
During your sessions, you and your therapist can work on self-help steps that can make it more obvious to you if and when you slide into self-sabotage. These parallel tracks can eventually align on the path toward recovery. Reach out today to learn how we can work together to minimize the negative effects of C-PTSD.