How can boundaries and EMDR psychotherapy work together?
Well, first let’s think about what you do to cope or manage your feelings? How do you feel safe? What makes you feel more powerful or less alone?
Perhaps you cope with the discomfort and pain of the past by bending over backward for others? Or maybe saying yes when you are already exhausted is a problem for you.
Do you people-please and overindulge people you know don’t have your best interest at heart? Or find you are routinely beating yourself up for winding up in situations that are unfulfilling, painful, or even dangerous?
A lot of this may happen because you just can’t set limits for your own well-being or hold other people to them as well.
Boundaries can be extremely difficult for someone who endured trauma in the past.
Personal limits can be tough to set and honor if you live with the memory of violation and overwhelm. In fact, not setting boundaries or limits may feel safer than living with the thought they could be breached at any time.
This means that as an adult, you may struggle to:
- Ask for what you want clearly
- Set a limit when someone is disrespecting you
- Keep healthy emotional and physical boundaries
- Protect yourself from manipulation and control
There are 4 important feelings that make setting boundaries challenging:
- Fear ( “It’s dangerous to say no”, “They will reject me if I say no”.)
- Shame (“I’m a bad person if I don’t do what they want”, “I don’t have a right to say no”,” I’m not worth sticking up for”.
- Anger (“They are a bad person for overstepping” , “I shouldn’t have to say anything”)
- Guilt (“I’m doing something wrong if I say no”.)
All of these emotions and beliefs can have their roots in early life relationships.
Signs of Ineffective Boundaries:
Poor boundaries bring with them big costs to your well being. So, if you have weak, or erratic boundaries you are likely to have trouble setting a course and achieving your life goals. Your life might be chaotic; filled with distractions and ungoverned impulses. You might also have difficulty with:
- Chronic anxiety
- Sleep disturbances
- Relationship dissatisfaction
So, if you find yourself groaning and complaining a lot, you might want to take a look and see what your boundaries are like.
Fortunately, Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a powerful way to reprocess specific memories, assumptions, and perceptions that fuel a life without personal boundaries. Eventually, you can find ways to connect without the worries of being taken advantage of. EMDR can help too if you struggle with low self-esteem and resist taking charge of your life and happiness.
You deserve safety and respect. EMDR can help you build mental, emotional, and relational guardrails quickly and solidly.
How EMDR Psychotherapy Helps
Disturbing events can sometimes process incorrectly or sit with you in a perpetually painful way. The guiding principle of EMDR is that it affords you time and space to locate and reinterpret unhelpful, unproductive, and even untrue thoughts or memories safely. With a trained EMDR therapist, you can reconnect with the thoughts, images, and physical sensations associated with troubling events and reprocess them with positive input.
EMDR therapy recognizes that the brain will heal itself given the opportunity. Using its unique method of movement, sound, and memory, participation in EMDR treatment soothes the reactivity of your brain.
EMDR typically uses an eight-phase treatment plan. The speed of recovery varies and depends on the specifics of your situation. But it is common to feel relieved and uplifted after just a few sessions.
You can then approach your life more authentically and intentionally. EMDR therapy includes and encourages additional healing. You learn to control your thoughts and take charge of what affects you. That is to say that negative triggers have less power, thus, boundaries feel more reasonable and employable.
Boundaries and EMDR Psychotherapy: Setting Limits Can Get Easier
EDMR can help you notice what is appropriate and acceptable in light of current events, not those of the past. Treatment can give you a new perspective on your own behavior so that you can move through life differently.
EMDR helps empower you and gives you a voice. You feel safe, secure, and equipped to deal with emotional pain. You can more easily stand your ground and establish boundaries that preserve your sense of wellbeing.
EMDR is a long term solution. It supports ongoing recovery and healthier interaction internally and externally. Anxiety, shame, and low self-esteem are better managed as EMDR helps tames negative history and emotions. Most importantly, boundaries feel less scary or intimidating because they are only linked to your current needs and the present moment. Self-acceptance and personal limits become a path toward a happier future.
Take the Next Step
With support, and in a relatively short amount of time, you experience the relief and encouragement offered through Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy sessions. If you want to learn more about personal boundaries and EMDR psychotherapy, please contact me soon.