We’ve all heard the term premature ejaculation but how many really know what it means? To understand this issue, it helps to know some statistics. According to studies, the average time for ejaculation during sex is about 3 to 5 minutes — although it can tend to be a little longer for men having sex with men. Therefore, the clinical definition of premature ejaculation requires the man to be regularly climaxing within 1 minute of penetrating their partner.
Of course, only the people having sex can decide if they are satisfied with the length of time before ejaculation occurs. But, generally speaking, ejaculating in less than a minute without any known external causes is considered premature ejaculation.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
Needless to say, there can specific instances that are related to the conditions at the time of the sexual encounter. This might involve a new partner, location, or circumstance. Some of the “external causes” mentioned above include:
- Certain medications
- Major stress in one’s life
- The presence of a mental illness
- Medical conditions like high blood pressure, thyroid issues, and diabetes
- Use and abuse of alcohol and other substances
- Lack of confidence
- Having relationship problems
Any one of these factors — or any combination — could be playing an active role. What’s tricky is trying to parse out where to focus your attention when it comes to treatment and self-care. That’s why so many people in a scenario like this will opt to connect with a therapist. This is especially helpful for couples in a long-term relationship.
I’ll talk more about therapy below but, when contemplating treatment, it is vital to look into addressing any underlying condition at the same time. In the meantime, there are steps you (and your partner) can take on your own to mitigate the impact of this potentially stressful issue.
3 Strategies to Stop Premature Ejaculation
1. Masturbating in Advance
Men who masturbate about 1 to 2 hours before having sex may find they “last” longer when it’s time for the real thing. Part of this could be that the initial pressure has been released and, physiologically speaking, it’s not as easy to reach orgasm the second time around.
2. Decreasing Sensation Before Sex
If you feel the cause might be primarily related to physical sensations, the options include wearing a thick condom or two condoms. This serves the purpose of reducing the effect of physical contact. In addition, it slows things down as the man puts on both condoms (or one thicker version).
A second option is to apply numbing creams directly onto the penis. As with the thick condom, it lessens the jolt of sensation a man can feel upon penetration. This has the potential to lengthen the time before ejaculation.
Techniques for decreasing sensation don’t work well for a lot of men. There can be many reasons why this is so, but one reason is because it can reinforce performance anxiety.
3. Taking Measures During Sex
The male body has something called the ejaculatory reflex. To delay this action, you can take deep breaths when you feel things getting close. Many men find that it also helps them if they pause for a few moments to allow them to step back from the edge of orgasm. Another way to lengthen the ejaculatory reflex is doing Kegel exercises — but obviously, not during sex!
Also, having your partner positioned on top allows for them to pull away if you tell them you might ejaculate. This offers you a break and a distraction. Of course, you’ll want to talk about this in advance with your partner to make sure they feel comfortable with this technique.
Let’s Talk About It
In our society, men can feel guilty and ashamed about their struggle with premature ejaculation. Thus, it can be an ideal starting point to commence this discussion in the privacy of a therapy room. If you or your partner is dealing with premature ejaculation, we should connect and talk at your earliest convenience about sex therapy or men’s issues.