Anxiety, worry and fear are universal human experiences. But, one thing I’ve noticed in my clinical practice is that their expression can differ significantly between genders. Men, in particular, may exhibit what I call male anxiety symptoms in ways that are often overlooked due to societal expectations and stigma. Recognizing these symptoms is critical for early intervention and effective management. In this blog post, I’ll explore how anxiety manifests in men, why it’s frequently underdiagnosed, key statistics, and suggest a few practical coping strategies. By shedding light on these male anxiety symptoms, I hoping to empower men to seek help and improve their mental health.

So, What Are Male Anxiety Symptoms?

Male anxiety symptoms include a range of physical, emotional, and behavioral signs that indicate heightened stress, fear or worry. Unlike many women, who may feel more comfortable openly expressing nervousness, men are often conditioned to suppress and ignore their emotions. This can lead to anxiety symptoms that are less verbal and more behavioral. If I were to summarize the most common male anxiety symptoms that my clients report, I would include irritability, anger, restlessness, and physical complaints like headaches or muscle tension.

These emotional and somatic signs can be subtle and it’s common that they are mistaken for other issues. The circumstance that produce anxiety in men can stem from work pressure, financial stress, relationship challenges, or societal expectations to “be strong.” Because man men are less likely to discuss feelings, male anxiety symptoms may go unnoticed by friends, family,  and even themselves,

These can exacerbate the condition and potentially lead to depression or substance abuse.

Physical Male Anxiety Symptoms

When I think about the men I see in psychotherapy, they report that the physical symptoms are often the first signs these men notice. But for many of them,  it took them years to  connect them to anxiety. Male anxiety symptoms in this category mimiced other health issues, leading men to seek medical first, before turning to psychotherapy.

Examples include:

• Muscle Tension and Pain: Chronic stress can cause tightness in the shoulders, neck, or jaw, often dismissed as physical exertion. –
• Headaches or Migraines: Frequent headaches are a common male anxiety symptom, triggered by overthinking or suppressed stress.
• Fatigue: Constant worry can drain energy, leaving men exhausted despite adequate sleep. –
• Heart Palpitations: A racing heart or chest tightness is a frequent male anxiety symptom during intense stress. –
• Digestive Issues: Anxiety can disrupt the gut, causing nausea, stomach pain, appetite changes and can play a large factor in condition like IBS.

These physical male anxiety symptoms are often misattributed to overwork, poor diet, or aging, delaying proper treatment.

Emotional and Behavioral Male Anxiety Symptoms

Emotional and behavioral male anxiety symptoms are equally significant but may be harder to recognize. I’ve noticed in my work that some men may not describe their feelings as “anxiety,” instead showing distress through actions. Important signs include:

• Worry
• OCD rituals
• Feelings of panic
• Irritability, Moodiness and Anger: Men with anxiety may snap at others or feel easily frustrated, using anger to mask worry. This is a common *male anxiety symptom* that can strain relationships. –
• Restlessness: A need to stay busy or an inability to relax may manifest as pacing, fidgeting, or taking on excessive tasks. This is often misdiagnosed as “ADHD”.
• Avoidance: Men may avoid anxiety-triggering situations, like social gatherings or work meetings, perpetuating the cycle. Avoidance underpins every anxiety disorder.
• Substance Use: Turning to alcohol and drugs to cope is a behavioral male anxiety symptom that can lead to dependency, damage relasionships and subvert career goals.
• Process addictions and compulsions: Video gaming, gambling, compulsive porn use, compulsive sexual behavior, socail media addiction, etc.
• Risk-Taking Behavior: Some men channel anxiety into impulsive actions, like reckless driving or gambling, to distract from worries. These symptoms often reflect societal pressures for men to appear in control, making it harder to admit their difficulties.

Let’s Talk Numbers: Male Anxiety Symptoms Statistics

But let’s go beyond my practice. Understanding the prevalence of male anxiety symptoms will highlight the urgency of addressing this issue. While in some people’s minds anxiety disorders are often associated with women, men are significantly affected, though their symptoms may be underreported. Here are key statistics: –

Prevalence: According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), approximately 19% of U.S. men experience an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, though this may be higher due to underdiagnosis.

Underdiagnosis: Studies suggest that men are 50% less likely than women to seek mental health treatment, meaning many male anxiety symptoms go unreported (American Psychological Association, 2019).

Work-Related Anxiety: A 2021 survey by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) found that 62% of men reported work-related stress as a primary trigger for male anxiety symptoms.

Physical/ Somatic Complaints: Around 70% of men with anxiety disorders present with physical symptoms, like headaches or fatigue, rather than emotional ones, leading to misdiagnosis (Journal of Men’s Health, 2020).

Substance Use: Men with anxiety are twice as likely as women to use alcohol or drugs to cope, with 15% of men with anxiety disorders developing substance use issues (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2022).

It’s my hope that these statistics underscore the need for greater awareness of male anxiety symptoms and targeted interventions to address them.

Male Anxiety Symptoms Coping Strategies

Managing *male anxiety symptoms* involves practical, actionable steps that men can integrate into their daily lives. Here are some Male anxiety symptoms coping strategies. I’ve  plucked from my practice:

1. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can reduce physical and emotional male anxiety symptoms.

2. Physical Activity: Regular exercise, such as running, weightlifting, or team sports, releases endorphins that combat anxiety. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise five times a week.

3. Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques: CBT tools, like challenging negative thoughts or journaling, help break the grip of anxious thinking and can teach you helpul skills to escape the cycle. A good anxiety therapist can guide men in mastering these skills.

4. Social Support: Talking to a trusted friend working with an good anxiety therapist, or joining a men’s mental health group can alleviate feelings of isolation.

5. Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Prioritize 7-8 hours of sleep, a balanced diet, and limited caffeine or alcohol to stabilize mood and reduce male anxiety symptoms.

6. Professional Help: We know a lot about how people recover from anxiety disorders. Many men instinctlively no that “just talking alone won’t help”.  Skills therapy is highly effective for anxiety, so are EMDR, neurofeedback and somatically oriented therapy.

7. Time Management: Structuring daily tasks and setting realistic behavioral goals can reduce your overwhelm, a common trigger for male anxiety symptoms.

8. Hobbies and Distractions: Engaging in activities like music, gaming, or woodworking can provide a mental break from anxious thoughts. Use distraction wisely and don’t overuse it.

Consistency is key.  It takes most a bit of experimenting  to find what works best for you.

The Importance of Early Intervention

Untreated male anxiety symptoms can lead to chronic health problems, strained relationships, and reduced quality of life. Do something about it when it’s in the early stages. This will your anxiety symptoms from prevents escalating and helps you regain control.

If you or someone you know is experiencing male anxiety symptoms, take the first step toward better well-being today. Have a look at my blog to get a better understanding of anxiety and reach out

The post Male Anxiety Symptoms appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

As the name implies, overthinking involves too much thinking. Rumination, in psychological terms, is “repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences.” Obviously, these patterns must be addressed. Understanding the causes is a big step in a more positive direction.

The Causes Behind Constant Overthinking

Overthinking is often present in people who have a history of trauma and mental health disorders ranging from anxiety to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and beyond. We’ll come back to those connections but first, here are other common causes for ongoing overthinking:

• Experiencing high levels of stress
• Perfectionism
• Fear of failure
• Getting caught up in the culture of comparison
• Feeling overwhelmed by constant decision-making
• Low self-esteem
• An inability to effectively regulate one’s emotions

Reasons like this can result in rumination becoming a default setting of sorts. Contrary to all evidence, we can convince ourselves that non-stop self-talk will lead to new approaches and better results. In reality, overthinking doesn’t make you feel any better. More likely, it leads to more negative thoughts to worry about. Simply put, rumination can take on a life of its own and not end until it is addressed in a healthy manner.

These trends can be buttressed by the presence of an issue like C-PTSD.

C-PTSD and Overthinking

A person who has experienced ongoing traumatic stress — especially during childhood — will understandably fixate on the treatment they’ve endured and the people responsible. If something so nightmarish occurs in your life, you want to know why. Some folks may rack their brains to discern what they think they did to deserve it. Others will obsess over ways to end the abuse and perhaps even get revenge.

Whatever the rationale, overthinking does not help people recover from the impacts of complex trauma. Such tendencies can carry over into parts of their lives through the 24/7 news cycle and the aforementioned FOMO. Therefore, while the causes for overthinking can range widely, there is no doubt that it must be addressed and resolved.

How to Stop Overthinking

As with many self-harming actions, the task of stopping rumination commences with a willingness to accept its presence. It doesn’t feel good to admit you’ve slipped into a dysfunctional mindset but it’s how recovery starts. Everyone overthinks at some point so let’s release the stigma of a common but unhealthy coping mechanism.

From there, if it is established that your overthinking habits are part of an existing condition (e.g. anxiety disorder, C-PTSD, etc.), those conditions must be treated. You can work on both issues at once but if something like trauma is at the root of rumination, that trauma requires your full attention.

Concurrent with these steps, you can make a huge difference by making lifestyle changes and trying out self-help steps.

For example:

• Resisting choices like self-medication or social withdrawal
• Using a journal to identify and list your triggers
• Safeguard your sleeping, eating, and exercise habits
• Leaning on your spiritual beliefs
• Keeping a gratitude list
• Avoiding self-isolation
• Pursuing creative outlets
• Seeking out content that lifts your spirits
• Getting involved in efforts to help others
• Practicing self-compassion and mindfulness to keep yourself grounded in the present moment

Most of all, you’ll want to connect with a mental health professional with experience in these areas. I’d love to hear from you soon. Reach out to book an appointment for trauma counseling.

Contact Me

The post Why We Ruminate: The Causes Behind Constant Overthinking appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

Adding to the potential confusion is the reality that some people with ASD have communication issues. If they cannot articulate what they’re feeling, the presence of OCD can be missed. Obviously, recognizing the overlapping traits is essential.

Identifying Both Disorders

To accomplish this important task, you’ll be connected with an interdisciplinary team of medical professionals. They’ll use specific measures and tools to do away with any diagnostic uncertainty. These practitioners must have proper knowledge so do not hesitate to talk openly with them about this process to make sure you’re comfortable with their experience.

How and Where Autism and OCD May Overlap

Of course, every case and every person is different. However, most likely, the team will focus on these three general areas of assessment and observation:

Communication Style

It’s not breaking news that a person with OCD, ASD, or both might struggle with social interactions. When viewed from the outside, the behaviors associated with ASD and OCD can be confusing. This only adds to the anxiety.

Obsessions (Intrusive Thoughts, Etc.)

The “O” in OCD stands for obsessive. A hallmark of the disorder is the presence of intrusive thoughts that become frightening obsessions. Less known is the reality that people with autism also struggle with obsessions. The causes are very different but to the people around you, the outcomes appear the same. Even a trained professional can find diagnosis challenging until the origin of the obsession is discerned.

Self-Stimulating Behaviors

If you know nothing else about autism, you probably recognize behaviors like finger or foot tapping, rocking, and other repetitive actions. These are forms of self-stimulating or “stimming.” However, people with OCD will also engage in repetitive behavior which can be misunderstood as a sign of ASD. The reasons they partake in the behavior are different but the outward manifestation is very similar.

All of the above is further complicated if it happens to a child.

Helping Someone with OCD and/or ASD

While medical professionals work to identify which condition is present, it’s important for someone displaying such symptoms to receive support and maintain safety. Here are some general suggestions:

• Establish forms of communication that work for both of you. ASD, in particular, can hamper attempts at clear expression. It might, for example, be something very visual, e.g. hand signals or pictures.
• You’ll need steady communication to help yourself or your teen handle changes and stick to a very structured schedule. In the name of describing stress and preventing outbursts, be sure to be transparent about anything that might create a feeling of uncertainty.
• Learn your triggers or those of your child. This can empower you to act preemptively before the anxiety of OCD and/or ASD takes hold. Keeping a journal is highly suggested.

Most Importantly, Ask for Help

If you’re helping a child, you’ll want to work hand-in-hand with their care team. Teachers, counselors, etc. — all of them can play a positive role. Similar advice is given to adults who feel they might be dealing with an ASD-OCD overlap. Connect with clinicians who bring the proper experience and know-how to the table. You need their expertise, of course, but they need your perspective just as much. To navigate this intersection of issues, I invite you to reach out to learn more.

The post The Overlapping Traits: Recognizing OCD in Individuals on the Autism Spectrum appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

For example, OCD, in general, involves chronic intrusive thoughts. A sub-set called harm OCD — as the name suggests — features obsessive thinking patterns that are particularly disturbing. Someone with harm OCD struggles with frequent thoughts of hurting themselves and/or others. As with all OCD, these thoughts trigger a desire to perform compulsions to ease the increased anxiety they provoke. Let’s explore a little deeper.

Do We Know What Causes Harm OCD?

There are several types of OCD — perhaps as many as a dozen. Research has yet to identify a specific case for any of them. Obviously, this includes harm OCD, too. For now, the existing thesis postulates that OCD can occur due to factors like:

• Enduring a traumatic life event
• Preexisting mental health problems
• Family history
• Behaviors learned in childhood
• A glitch in brain chemistry

However, we can recognize that harm OCD occurs much as other forms of OCD do. The primary difference is what kind of obsessions are triggering compulsive responses.

What Does Harm OCD Look and Feel Like?

Imagine the sudden appearance of a violent thought or mental image. Go one step further and envision that you are overcome with genuine fear that you are about to carry out such violence on yourself or someone else. It does not matter if the act is deliberate, harm OCD will temporarily convince you that the harmful act could happen by accident — without your knowledge.

This distressing reality can launch you into a cycle of preventative compulsions like:

• Avoiding headlines that mention violent news stories
• Throwing out anything in your home that you fear can cause harm
• Seeking non-stop reassurance from others that you are a good person
• Obsessively following any spiritual practice you feel helps you maintain self-control
• Researching people who have committed horrific violent crimes
• Engaging in non-stop introspection to discern if you are capable of harm
• Replaying your day to make certain you didn’t cause harm to anyone

While the intrusive thoughts can range from self-harm to sexual violence to homicide and beyond, the common thread is a loss of control. The effort needed to suppress such perceived likelihoods is time-consuming and exhausting. A person with harm OCD often cannot ever feel safe. Thus, therapy can be especially vital in that it provides a secure environment for exploration.

Getting Treatment for Harm OCD

While there is no cure for OCD in any form, there is an effective treatment option called exposure and ritual prevention (ERP). While, of course, ERPs application will vary from case to case, here is the basic idea:

• Pause: If you’re someone with harm OCD, your therapist will help you identify a low-level trigger. You’ll be exposed to that trigger and when a compulsion feels necessary, you take a short pause before engaging. Little by little, the length of the pause is increased.
• Slow Motion: A second source of control is deciding how quickly you move. Ideally, after the paise, you’ll perform the compulsion in slow motion. Once again, you’re reclaiming agency.
• Remove a Component: For any compulsion that has more than one part, the action here is to perform the compulsion but leave one component out.

In these ways, ERP does not eliminate the obsession, but it can reduce its power and influence. If harm OCD is impacting your life or the life of someone you know, I’d love to tell you more about the available options. Reach out to learn more about anxiety therapy for OCD treatment.

The post The Complexities of Harm OCD: Exploring Its Underlying Triggers and Mechanisms appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

A connection between childhood trauma and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) has been confirmed via brain scans. Children exposed to abuse, neglect, and other serious dangers can become wired to perceive threats even when none are present. The same association can exist even for those who endure a traumatic event later in life. Either way, anxiety becomes a chronic but dysfunctional coping mechanism.

How Trauma Shapes Anxious Behaviors

As touched on above, the cycle can begin with counterproductive coping mechanisms. Having gone through something horrific, the human brain goes into hyperdrive to protect us from anything like that again. However, the severity and stress of trauma (especially when you’re younger) short-circuits healthy decision-making. Therefore, a trauma survivor may rely on negative choices like:

• Blaming themselves for the event and then trying to “fix” whatever it is they imagine caused the problem.
• Trying to grow numb via detachment, dissociation, and denial so the pain feels less impactful.
• Living in a state of high alert — anxiously imagining that they are surrounded by risk.

Any of these options can be a one-way ticket to an anxiety disorder. When you process and resolve trauma, anxiety becomes less aggressive.

How to Recognize Unprocessed and Unresolved Trauma

Feeling Stuck in a Stress Response

A hallmark of trauma is the presence of intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and flashbacks. When triggered, you re-experience the past. Your mind and body react as if the traumatic event is happening again. Feeling on edge or in a state of dread can complicate trauma with an overflow of anxiety. From there, the following signs are all-too-common.

Emotional Issues

As the blend of trauma and anxiety progresses, you may notice memory lapses. Daily functionality feels like too much as your ability to concentrate is hampered. Adding to this, mood swings and difficulty regulating emotions keep you further on edge.

Physical Issues

The sudden appearance of physical symptoms and ailments is a red flag. From fibromyalgia to chronic fatigue to cardiovascular problems and beyond —all of it can stem from trauma-related anxiety.

Risky Behaviors

In an unconscious effort to shut out past memories and present-day nervousness, a person with trauma and anxiety may choose to engage in dangerous, self-harming behaviors like:

• Drugs and alcohol
• Disordered eating
• Obsessive choices like gambling, unsafe sex, and internet porn
• Reckless driving

Now What?

If you suspect that your current high level of anxiety is rooted in past trauma, it is absolutely required that you ask for the help — and self-help — you need and deserve. For starters, here are two suggestions:

Name Your Emotions

Keep a journal to track your triggers. What launches you into a painful episode of intrusive thoughts and potential self-harm? Organize this trigger list from the least stressful to the most. Such an exercise allows you to gently be exposed to the patterns and cycles that influence your daily life. In addition, this journal will come in handy during therapy (see below).

Connect with a Trauma-Informed Therapist

A massive challenge for someone trying to manage trauma and anxiety is feeling unsafe. When you commit to weekly sessions, you grant yourself a space where you can feel more secure. In a setting like this, it becomes easier to understand how trauma has been stored in your body, how it triggers anxiety, and how to cultivate the tools you need to recover.

Let’s talk soon so you can learn more about anxiety or trauma therapy.

The post Beneath Anxiety: How Trauma Shapes Anxious Behaviors appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

Technically, if pain lasts for at least six months, it is deemed chronic. Chronic pain negatively impacts your quality of life and hampers your ability to function daily. In addition, it can lead to associated symptoms like low energy, decreased mobility, and general muscle tension.

Less obvious are the emotional costs of chronic pain. At least half of those with chronic pain also struggle with anxiety. Let’s learn more and explore strategies for addressing the anxiety of chronic pain.

Chronic Pain and Mental Distress

Nobody likes feeling sick in any way. Among many other impacts, it causes us to withdraw and miss out on social interactions. Imagine what it’s like when chronic pain is present. You never know if and when you’ll feel up to accepting an invitation.

As a result, you may worry if friends and family believe you. Life gets lonely as you grow more isolated. This can induce emotions like dissatisfaction and hopelessness.

Not only are you struggling with the reality of daily physical pain, but mental distress arrives due to:

• Feeling like a burden because you need so much help.
• The inability to work consistently can hurt your income and cause shame and guilt.
• All your relationships seem affected.
• Even when it’s said with good intentions, there’s only so many times you hear someone suggest the pain is “all in your head.”
• Uncertainty becomes overwhelming as time passes and you wonder when you’ll finally recover.

All the above can cause chronic anxiety to meld with chronic pain to create a challenging scenario. Fortunately, a blend of professional intervention and self-education can help you shift your circumstances and move toward thriving again.

Strategies for Addressing Anxiety in Those with Chronic Pain

Acceptance

It’s understandable if you feel anger about the pain you’re experiencing. “Why me?” you may wonder. Other folks may put on a brave face and assure everyone that they’re “fine.” Practicing acceptance allows you to move forward to the next step: getting help and getting healed.

Do Your Homework

Self-education is the path for you if you want to know what’s happening and why. It’s also how you learn about available options. Your medical team will know their stuff, but it’s always wise to become an expert on your specific situation. The level of pain and anxiety you feel is unique to you, so stay empowered and involved.

Talk Back to Your Inner Critic and Celebrate Progress

Anxiety is a skilled liar. Get into the habit of challenging negative thoughts before they take hold. Chronic pain and anxiety can give you the impression that you’ll never feel better.

Balance out that faulty perception by celebrating when you make progress. This is how you create positive momentum.

Don’t Forget Self-Care

Both pain and anxiety can worsen when we’re not caring for ourselves. Make it part of your daily life to tend to base self-care like:

• Getting in physical activity every day
• Maintaining regular sleep habits
• Making healthy eating and drinking choices
• Calming your mind with stress management and relaxation techniques
• Working on basic coping skills with your therapist

Help Is Available

You may opt to find a support group — online or in person. Interacting with others who understand the struggle is validating and often leads to useful new ideas. One-on-one therapy is also a proven path for digging deep to understand underlying issues and patterns. It’s how you learn to address the emotional strain of chronic pain. I invite you to contact me to learn more about anxiety therapy.

The post Strategies for Addressing Anxiety in Those with Chronic Pain appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

Negative self-beliefs don’t appear out of nowhere. Rather, the seeds of social anxiety were planted without you realizing it. From abuse to rejection to gaslighting and beyond, emotional mistreatment alters a child’s ability to understand their place in the world.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health conditions in the world. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one common example. We’re not talking about occasional shyness or nervousness. Rather, a person with SAD will dread certain social situations and fear being judged. At least 12 percent of Americans struggle with SAD, displaying symptoms like avoiding social scenarios and experiencing dread about an upcoming situation.

In addition, when confronted with a social interaction, you may experience physical signs like:

• Dizziness
• Chaotic thoughts
• Digestive disturbances
• Inability to make eye contact

Someone with SAD may fear:

• Meeting new people
• Parties
• Public speaking or any kind of performance
• Doing things in public — from eating to talking with strangers
• Making a phone call
• Dating

All of this (and more) can be the result of emotional maltreatment during your most formative years.

We Learn Our Attachment Style During Childhood

A child raised in a secure environment typically develops secure attachments more easily in adulthood. On the other hand, many factors can derail this health process. Certain circumstances can short-circuit a young person’s self-image and interpersonal development, These include:

• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Exposure to domestic violence
• Being belittled, criticized, humiliated, or threatened
• Not receiving the support and love you need
• Abandonment and rejection
• Gaslighting
• Exposure to a war zone, natural disaster, or crime
• Physical illness, disability, or injury
• Basic needs are denied, e.g. safe housing, food, hygiene, clothing, medical care, etc.

Early Signs of Trauma-Inspired SAD

A child subjected to any of the above nightmares will present with clear symptoms of being traumatized. For example:

• Anxiety and depression
• Low self-esteem
• Unhealthy and sometimes self-harming behaviors
• People-pleasing
• Problems at school, e.g. grades, behavior, absences, etc.
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Fatigue
• Digestive issues and disordered eating
• Sleep problems
• Uncontrolled anger
• Social withdrawal and self-isolation

When you don’t feel safe during childhood, it can feel impossible to trust others as an adult. This lack of trust goes a long way toward developing the characteristics of social anxiety listed in the previous section.

If This Sounds Familiar, What Can You Do?

Social anxiety — and its underlying causes — cannot be effectively addressed and managed until you have accepted their presence. The more you understand about trauma and SAD, the more you can accept that none of this is your fault. When you were a child, it was the responsibility of your parents or caretakers to provide you with a safe and secure environment. By releasing shame and self-blame, you create room for healing and recovery. Remember, you can change your attachment style.

To get that process started requires you to ask for help. Working with a skilled, trauma-informed therapist is a proven path to choose. Your weekly sessions are where you begin to construct the safe environment you have always craved. In such a setting, you are better positioned to identify and recognize patterns and causes that were previously invisible to you. Reach out to learn more about anxiety treatment.

The post How Does Emotional Mistreatment in Childhood Fuel Social Anxiety in Adulthood? appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

If you’re an HSP, you probably crave alone time, experience intense emotions, and tend to overthink. You’re probably a loner and anything that resembles criticism gets to you. Conversely, the typical HSP has a powerful intuition, and a rich inner life is moved by art and beauty, and displays above-average compassion.

Why Would an HSP Seek Therapy?

Basically, the world can be very uncooperative with an HSP’s needs. Daily encounters with loud noises, bright lights, tight clothing, or crowded environments can serve to trigger you. Needless to say, avoiding such triggers is not always possible. Therefore, a highly sensitive person can benefit from support and guidance from an experienced professional.

4 Ways Therapy Can Help a Highly Sensitive Person

1. The Setting is Conducive to Progress

Your sessions will take place in a quiet, private, safe space. In such a setting, an HSP can focus less on sensory input and more on learning ways to better cope (see #3 below). You can also come to deeply appreciate the unique gifts you have and make the most of them.

2. Validation and Self-Compassion

Highly sensitive people get plenty of unsolicited comments and “advice” and their behavior. They get called “over-sensitive” or even “weird.” In therapy, you will be validated for what you feel — including learning how to name/describe what you feel. You recognize that there’s nothing “wrong” with you and that you’re worthy of self-compassion. From this foundation, you’ll be better positioned to set and enforce boundaries.

3. Coping Skills

High sensitivity to sensory processing can feel like an impediment to living a rich or even a “normal” life. With the help of a therapist, you can begin acquiring new tools for everyday life and for setting and attaining goals. An important development will involve putting greater emphasis on self-help, e.g.

• Accepting and appreciating your HSP status.
• Adjusting your daily life to include more of the balance you need.
• Learning how to respectfully say no.
• Cultivating the self-compassion mentioned above.
• Practicing daily self-care.
• Connecting with friends and family members who will support you.

4. Deeper Relationships

Therapy is an ideal setting for enhancing your communication skills. This enables you to turn uncomfortable situations into learning experiences. From there, they can become opportunities to build stronger connections with the people in your life.

Is Being an HSP Really Worthy of Seeing a Therapist?

It’s not uncommon for some folks to view therapy as reserved for someone with a “serious” illness. Hence, the simple act of reaching out for help is a giant step toward validating yourself as someone who deserves support.

From there, your therapy experiences can grow into a very positive part of your life. Sure, you will discover new ways to navigate a world that sometimes feels overwhelming. However, in addition, your therapist can guide you to identify and appreciate your HSP superpowers. There is magic feeling things deeply and always being ready to respond to others with empathy and care.

In other words, therapy can absolutely offer so much tangible support and help. In a less concrete way, it can inspire an HSP to see things as a trade-off. Sure, it’s not great when a crowded bus utterly exhausts you. But how awesome is it to revel in a sunset or a painting in a deep and profound way?

Reach out to learn more about anxiety therapy and how it can help you.

The post 4 Ways Therapy Can Help a Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

Gaming addictions are behavioral addictions. This category also includes addictions to gambling, shopping, exercise, and food. They are diagnosable disorders that require treatment. In addition, there are helpful self-help steps the gamer can take.

Possible Warning Signs of Video Game Addiction

If you play video games, you could be at risk. However, co-factors could involve:

• A history of addictions in the family
• Co-existing mental illnesses make you more susceptible
• Sex (since males tend to play video games far more often, they are at greater risk)

Common Warning Signs Include:

• Wanting to stop but being unable to do so
• Neglecting daily responsibilities, e.g. work, school, family, and personal hygiene
• Hiding your gaming from loved ones
• Withdrawing from friends.
• Withdrawing from other hobbies or interests
• Requiring more gaming time to feel the same pleasure
• Sleep disturbances
• Decreased appetite
• Angry outbursts when you are prevented from gaming
• Thinking about gaming even when you’re not playing
• Feeling guilt and shame about the amount of time you allocate to gaming

If this sounds familiar or on the verge of being familiar, there are some steps you should consider taking.

3 Strategies for Overcoming a Video Game Addiction

1. Set Self-Loving Limits

Among many other options, this might involve:

• Deleting certain games from your devices
• Keeping devices in only one location in your home
• Ideally, remove any and all devices from your bedroom
• Set strict time limits

That last entry could relate to how many days per week and how many hours per day. Combine with other screen limits (computer, TV, phone, etc.) to create a climate that is conducive to finding other activities to occupy your time and mind.

2. Cultivate New Hobbies and Interests

Video games on their own are not the problem. When you become almost exclusively attached to them, addiction becomes a serious danger. This can be counterbalanced by partaking in activities that keep your attention. Ideally, these interests would not involve you being sedentary. You might want to try walking, playing a sport, or joining a gym.

Also, many folks use gaming to relieve stress and “escape” from everyday life. There are far healthier and more effective options at your disposal, e.g. yoga, meditation, playing music, making art, and volunteering to help others.

3. Ask for Help and Support

If you feel like you’ve lost control of your gaming habits, you may have more help available than you realize. Trusted friends and family members can be there to listen and also to help you set limits. Ask people to check in with you and let them know you’re looking for new ways to spend your leisure time.

Talk to a Professional

Video games are often the stuff of silly memes and jokes. When viewed in that light, we can lose sight of the need for self-control and moderation. This is where an experienced therapist can be indispensable. In your sessions, you can learn more about behavioral addictions. You can also open up about what you feel when you think about gaming.

If you’ve underestimated the hold gaming has on you, let’s talk. If you’ve tried the self-help steps above with change, let’s talk in anxiety therapy. You can enjoy gaming as a tangential part of your life but it may require that you get help from someone who understands.

The post Strategies for Overcoming a Video Game Addiction appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.

It’s one thing to skip out early from a loud party. What if you can’t leave or if there is a sudden change of plans and well, there you are?

What Causes an HSP to Get Anxious?

Basically, anything that defines your HSP status has the potential to cause anxiety, e.g.

• Sustained social interactions
• Too much multitasking
• A long to-do list
• Sensory input of the unpleasant kind
• Trying to choose between self-care and prioritizing others
• Perfectionism
• When someone watches you perform a task
• Schedule changes that don’t give you time to adjust

If any of the above is triggering anxiety or perhaps causing an anxiety disorder, it’s wise to get help. In the meantime, however, there are productive self-help measures you can take.

Tips for Navigating Anxiety as a Highly Sensitive Person

Identify Your Triggers

When you monitor what causes anxiety in you, you empower yourself to avoid those triggers. What’s important is that you differentiate between what bugs the HSP in you from what ramps up chronic anxious thoughts.

Assess Your Normal Schedule

Take at least a week to identify where and how your time and energy are allocated. You’ll likely be surprised at how often you work inefficiently. That’s your signal to recalibrate. You can be more effective by expending less energy and thereby, leave yourself more resilient to ward off anxiety.

Set Boundaries

• Here are some examples of such self-love in action:
• Let people know that there will be times when you are off-limits
• Get comfortable saying “no”
• Put your phone away or, even better, turn it off for a little while each day

Add “Blank Space” Into Your Schedule

As you get better at setting boundaries, use that me-time effectively. Contrary to societal messaging about productivity, everyone needs periods of time in which they recharge and refresh. This can be done in a big way, e.g. taking full days off. Some HSPs prefer intermittent blank spaces that are scheduled throughout a given day.

It’s not easy for a people-pleasing HSP to turn off their devices and focus inward. So, please recognize this practice as fuel. Black spaces strengthen and fortify you, which prepares you to be better positioned to help others.

Ask for Help From Your Support System

It may feel counterintuitive for an HSP to ask for help, but anxiety is nothing to be casual about. It’s a diagnosable mental health issue which means it’s best if you don’t tackle it alone. What that translates into is identifying friends, family members, neighbors, co-workers, etc. who know you well and understand your needs. With their support, you can practice getting comfortable delegating tasks when necessary or simply asking for a hug.

Get External Help, Too

Most highly sensitive people recognize their uniqueness and learn how to make adjustments. When anxiety is added to the equation, you will need to do more adapting. This kind of work is ideally done with the help of a seasoned therapist. Your weekly sessions are an ideal setting for better understanding root causes and new approaches. If you might be an HSP and anxiety is cramping your style, let’s talk about anxiety therapy and how it can help you as an HSP.

The post Tips for Navigating Anxiety as a Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on Michael G. Quirke, MFT.